Sunday, November 28, 2010

Look How Far I've Come...

Buna Seara!

2 1/2 days till I go home.  Seriously, time has just flown by.  These next few days will too since I have lots of things planned for both of them.  Mostly just cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, packing, packing, packing, and more cleaning.  Sounds like fun, not.  But I do kind of enjoy this kind of things because it tells me I am getting to go on a trip.  And this particular trip is leaving Romania and heading to Texas for Andrew's graduation.  I still feel like I will be coming back to live in Romania after my trip to Texas but I'm not.  Though I keep thinking I am.  It will hit me after a few weeks of living back in the states. 

But, I really wanted to focus on how much I have changed.  Hopefully for the better.  I look back at what it was like in Romania the first time I stepped of the plan.  I was so terrified.  Mario probably thought we were clueless when we first went to the grocery store.  I was scared to look or ask for anything (Romanian or English).  I even only went back and forth between the apartments if people were with me.  The orphanage was probably the silliest part looking back.  I remember the first day I met all of the kids.  And by kids, I mean ALL of them since we spent time in every room.  That was a very overwhelming experience.  Then over the weekend we decided amongst ourselves who would be working in what room.  I initially wanted Mickey Mouse 2 but two of the other girls both wanted Mickey Mouse rooms but didn't care which one.  So I got my second choice Bambi 2.  I was actually really sick my very first work day but the second day I went to my room.  I was overwhelmed with the amount of children in the room.  7 boys and only 3 girls.  I definitely had to adjust.  At first I was really quiet, almost scared to talk to the children in any language.  I would only do what the workers told me to do,so I didn't take innitive in anything.  It was also almost like a honeymoon stage with the kids.  They just seemed like little angels and I was only concerned with being kind and loving them.  Then there was the hospital.  I wouldn't go onto a floor alone.  I wouldn't feel comfortable in a room by myself at all.  Not to mention I thought 3 months would last forever....

But I have already seen how much I have changed.  It took a little bit but I can definitely see it.  For starters there are now 5 girls and 4 boys in my room (we just barely lost one of our girls).  Also, I take a BIG innitive now. I was even brave enough to take them to la masa by myself when my worker was busy.  I put them to bed, I clean up the toys, and get them ready every day for snack/lunch.  I also sing to them, in Romanian and English.  I am not afraid to talk as much anymore because they don't care what language just as long as you interact.  Also, the "honeymoon" stage definitely ended.  I could see myself becoming like the workers, frustrated at times.  It was hard not to be but I could see myself wanting to.  I could see the difference because the "new" workers they just harder were like me when I first started.  At the hospital I went many, many times by myself up to the 5th floor.  No big deal anymore to go by yourself.  I go to the g market like it is no problem.  I know my ropes for the most part around Iasi shopping areas.  And now I have just 2 full days left here in Romania.  I seriously thought this week would never come...

There are so many other ways I have felt I have grown. I have really strove to take initiative in everything I do now.  If you had seen me before, I don't do that at "home, home".  So I have really come along way here and hopefully I can continue to when I go back.  Also, my patience has definitely grown.  Even a little is a big thing for anyone.  I mean, it has to if you work with 10 kids everyday:) I have grown even more in my independence, probably a bad thing.  But after being married a year I saw myself change since before I was.  Now I feel I am back to how I was before I was married.  I try to not to rely so much on others like I do with Andrew.  So hopefully I can keep that instead making someone do everything for me.  There is so, so much I really feel I have grown.  My views on life have for sure changed.  I see motherhood in a whole new (better) light than I did before.  I also see how much difference a person can make in their life.  Even the people I have met here have made a profound influence on me. 

Hopefully I have grown even more mature and really grown into myself as I have come here to Romania.  I have had so many adventures and I hope there are many more to come in the future.  Never stop dreaming and live life to the fullest.

Mare vis,

Dani

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