Another week has flown by and today was the beginning of another. Thursday will be the month mark I have been here! It is so crazy to think I have already been in Europe for that long. In reality, us girls were so blessed to have paperwork done before we came because we were able to start working after only a week of being here. Past groups had to wait weeks. Working, especially work that bring such great joy, always makes time go fast.
At the orphanage this morning is was very easy to have a bad attitude. My weekend had, once again, been full that it didn't even feel like a break. Plus, we all went to bed very late Sunday that waking up and caring for kids the whole day seemed to last thing I wanted to do. On top of all that, alot of the kids in my room were grouchy. Yes, this included screaming, kicking, crying during meals, and lots and lots of tantrums. I even got hit in the face!
But....
I told myself to quit being so negative. Because today was actually a really good day! The boys played with those Connectx block thing or whatever that are like pokie legos or something. It was so funny watching all the things they could make out of them. They first made cell phones and then turned it into other things. The best was when they made them into razors. One of the little boys took their creation and started "buzzing" the other little boy head. They also enjoy buzzing and brushing my hair with them. It was really funny to watch their creativity. But of course, like with all little boys, it ended up becoming a gun, and that was what entertained them the longest. So despite all the possible negatives, the high of my day came at the end of la masa. I had finished feeding Dumpling when Ada, the head worker, was telling Dumpling to say bye to me. I had already started walking out of the little cafeteria when Dumpling was waving and saying "Pa!" Then, all of my kiddos were waving and saying "Pa! (bye)" as I left. It made my day. It made me feel as though they were starting to get comfortable around me and were accepting me. I hope that my presence can bring some sort of helpful change in their lives.
One other positive thing before the hospital...
Teo (the orphanage manager) and Sara ( the guy physical therapist) both came in to check in on Bambi. This little guy is old enough to be walking but just hasn't yet. He can hold himself up and kind of crawl, but he is pretty clumsy and needs two hand support to walk. So, hopefully this means something can be done to strengthen this little guy's legs and get him walking. It would be awesome to see some progress before I leave.
So lastly, the hospital...
I went upstairs to the 5th floor like always and Little Blue Diva wasn't there! It was actually very bitter sweet without her there. I felt so unsure of what to do. But, there was a new baby there. It was so hard for me to deal with a baby after going from toddlers! It was little girl and it was such a sad situation. She was so tiny, especially from her waist down (her little legs did not seem to match the rest of her body). Poor thing kept crying a very fake sounding cry like she was hardly making a sound at all. There wasn't alot I could do. It was very overwhelming and I will have to see if she is still there tomorrow. But, today was reality for me because it was the first time I was with an actual baby without a mom at the hospital. It hit me hard but all I can do right now is just be strong and try to love them. This might take a little bit of time for me not to be so tender-hearted about these kinds of things.
But, looking back on today. These are the reasons I decided to come on an internship. I am hoping to become a nurse with some speciality because I have a strong desire to help people. I always have. I feel this is the best way for me to have a career for myself and to help others in any way I can. So this internship has allowed me to step as far out of my comfort zone as humanely possible. One, I am working with children...something very outside my comfort zone. Second, as a nurse, I will be seeing many heart breaking things ,and this submersion of working with Romanian orphans is allowing me to see the hardest side of disabilities and life. I need to become a stronger individual and I know that after this amazing experience I will be.
Mare vis,
Dani
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