First off I wanted to start by saying that I just love when something happens and then you get your answer immediately after! This happened yesterday when I watched general conference on Saturday morning. Remember my blog I wrote yesterday? Well....there was a talk given that directly related to my problems. Dieter F. Uchdorf discussed how in life we sometime just need to slow done and focus on thing that are really important in life. We need to be like trees, that when faced with less than idle circumstances grow slower by focusing only on the essentials. He also compared life to an airplane going through turbulence. Many of us, like inexperienced pilots, believe the the way to get through "turbulence" is to accelerate to get through it. In reality, reducing speed it the best way to minimize the affects. President Uchdorf also mentioned that many of us believe that self-value is based on the length of their to do list. I nearly felt a shot to the heart when he said this. Because seriously, that is exactly how I think. It is easy to be busy, but to focus on things that really matter like God, your family, serving your fellowmen, and even working on ourselves is where true happiness lies. I am so grateful that I heard this because his closing statement really touched me to not allow stress to overwhelm me to the point that I loose sight on the things in life that really matter.
"Let us simplify our lives a little and focus on what matters most."
Other than going to church I thought today was going to overall be a very uneventful day until this evening. I was wrong, as usual. But I am so grateful for the experience I did have because the more I experience get the more I learn about myself.
One of the girls from the other apartment, Megan, came up to ours and asked Aubrea if she wanted to go to the hospital with her to drop by and see a little boy. This little boy is from the orphanage from the room that Aubrea works in. Needless to say, everyone is waiting for him to die. He is struggling to hang on and everyone knows the inevitable is coming soon, even his mother. But, Aubrea was really tired (she was up till 1:00 watching Conference here!) and decided it would be best for her to take a nap. I felt bad cause I knew she really wanted to go so I said that I would come with her. Good thing I did. We got all bundled up, because it was freezing outside, and went to cross the street. It was then that I saw someone lying in the middle of the road. I pointed it out to Megan and asked if maybe we should call someone or something. Literally, she was lying in the middle of the road with cars going around her. Several people looked and kept walking past her. I started to get closer to see if I could do anything when a truck stopped and walked over there. He picked her up and left her on the curb out of the street and then drove off. So Megan and I walked over to see if there was anything we could do. We went up to her and I noticed it was a homeless person I saw at the fair a few hours before. We wanted to do something for her so Megan took out a banana and gave it to her. She even had to feed it to her because it was so cold and she was so tired. I then suggested maybe a blanket I had upstairs because it was so cold outside and her outfit consisted of socks with only sandals over them, a scarf and a long sleeve (very thin) shirt to keep her warm. It broke my heart. So we ran up to my apartment grabbed an old blanket left by the girls past, a bottle of water, and two of my granola bars. She was still there so we went over and Megan helped her drink some while I put the blanket around her. She even kissed Megan's hand! We were getting ready to go when she looked at both of us with true gratitude. It made my day I could at least a little. When we left she was singing something so we didn't go back over there. By the time we came back from the hospital she was gone, but I know that at least we tired to do something for someone else. I have homeless people of others but I don't believe I have ever been exposed to true poverty and nothingness. To have nothing, no one helping you, and to be surrounded by it where ever I go is really something new for me. I know it obviously exists but it never really seems real until you are immersed in it. It was hard for me but it is yet another thing I know that by being exposed to hardship can build my personal character.
But, we did end up going to the hospital. Yet another growing experience. I went with Megan, who usually likes visiting the Intensive Care Unit when at the hospital where that baby is. It was my first real time being their for an extended period of time. And it broke my heart. Like I have always mentioned, babies are very outside of my comfort zone, but to also have them suffering in the hospital is really hard for me to see. We went into the room and I saw the little boy, every gasp of air seemed to be his last. He has so many problems that it is amazing he is still with us. He has had many respiratory shocks that have caused quite a scare the last few days. His amazing mother was there, who visits every day, and talked to us a little. She even told us that a little baby had just died last night in the room next store. She gave her little boy to the orphanage when she realized she couldn't care for him because of his condition, but has faithfully visited ever since. Megan even told me she is scared to hold him because it moves the mucus in his lungs making it hard for him to breathe. His mother is so strong to visit every day, not even being able to hold him alot, knowing that his end is near. It was very hard for me to see and hear so many of the things that happen. But, I am glad I came because I know in my profession I will be dealing with these kinds of exposures everyday. I will encounter disabilities, heart aches, lack of hope, and even death while working. I am once again so grateful I came because I know by doing something out of my comfort zone I can get over my fear and do good in helping the lives of others.
Ending on a good note, I did get to also visit my 3 babies on the cardio floor. They are all doing well so I just changed, fed, and left diapers for them. It is always good to see they are well enough to stay on their floor instead of going to the ICU.
But, this week is going to be very exciting. Dr. Porter, from BYU came to visit and is now going to see where we work. We also might be going to a monastery in Moldova later this week.
I had dreamed of going on a mission before I got married. But, life always gives you the last thing you expect. Reading blogs from the past and experiencing it now I realize I am serving a mission. As long as I try to keep serving and doing what I can I am serving a mission of my own. I am no Mother Teresa, but I still can try to show the smallest amount of charity towards others.
Cu mult drag,
Dani
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