I talked with a girl today from my group about my decision to come out to Romania. Honestly, it was an extremely hard decision for me to make. I don't even know where to begin with this. Andrew and I had just moved, again, and that cost a lot of money as usual just to do. On another hand, it was so hard for Andrew to just find the part time job that he did because we planned on being there together for only 4 months. By that time we knew that Andrew would be going into the military, didn't know when exactly, but we planned sometime during the summer. That didn't end up happening. No jobs were opening up and we couldn't exactly find work when we didn't even know when he was going to leave. So that is where I come in. What will I do when he leaves? Will I stay down in Provo and keep going to school? Or will I stay with my parents and then move down with them in Utah during January while he is gone? I had no idea what would happen...
But then a job opened up for Andrew that would leave in October. Finally, at least a time frame of what would happen. Still....what would I do? We found this out around Spring Term. This was when I first heard about the Romanian Internship program. I was sitting in my Human Development plan when my teacher started going on and on about a program out in Romania where students work with kids with special problems at an orphanage. The more he talked about it, I felt something inside me become very curious about the possibility of me going. The semester went a little further along when we watch a short movie ( I think from the 20/20 program "Shame of a Nation") about the orphans in Romania. They were in horrible conditions, children looking helpless and like something out of a holocaust (to be clear, it is not like that at all anymore!). It really touched my heart that I went and started talking to the facilitator and my professor about more information.
I went and talked to Andrew about the possibility of me going. He was kind of opposed at the idea because I would be leaving a month before he does and then the program cost around 6,000 dollars for me to go (money we didn't have). But, I really prayed about what I should do and I felt things just fall into place after that. Several questions came to mind but they came to answer themselves.
1. The time frame of when I would be leaving- I talked to my parents and the surprised me by saying "Dani, you should really do this." The time frame works out perfectly! I will finished with my program and be able to fly out to Texas for when he graduates!
2. Money- a huge issue really. Despite some setbacks and some chunks taken out of my savings. I was able to take back a loan and Andrew is able to to start making money as soon as he goes in so we will be able to pay it back soon. Plus, my wonderful family who is so supportive and was able to help loan some for me.
3. The children I would be working with have severe special needs. Attachment disorders, mental, and physical disabilities...luckily the program wanted us to volunteer at Oakridge Elementary School in Springville, UT that really helped prepare me for what I would see at the orphanage in Romania.
So many possible setbacks, and don't get me wrong they are big possible hindrances, but I really felt it was worth it. The program facilitator sent out an email saying that they really needed people for the Fall Semester. It was then I knew I was meant to go. I filled out my paper work and was accepted within a week. I hope that I have added to the dynamic of the program because I love being here.
There are still challenges but I know that things will be good. Working with children is a whole new experience for me. I have this weird aspect of my personality where I will do things just because I wouldn't normally want to. Children, especially babies, ( not to mention those with special needs), terrify me! Seriously, I am not very good with children. So this was one of the reasons I came just because I knew I would be working with them. I have a strong desire to become a better person and as I nurse I will be doing things that are currently outside my comfort zone. So why not prepare myself now so I will be a better person when that time comes? Another challenge comes from me kind of feeling like an outcast. I am the only one in my group who is married, and even a few years younger that those who are still single. Not to mention I went from dealing with one personality to six. It is definitely a challenge for me but I am getting to know the girls and I think this will be another growing experience for. And of course an obvious when is Andrew is gone. With him at boot camp we have virtually no contact till December when I see him again. I like to consider myself a strong person in this way because I haven't let this way me down. I know that while he is at Basic Training for the Air Force that he is becoming a stronger, better person so why shouldn't I?
Despite all of these things I have a strong desire to serve others. I always have, thus my career choice. I have always wanted to travel, I always will, and this seemed like the best of both worlds. I am killing many birds with one stones as I try to serve others, our Heavenly Father's choice spirits (aka children), while also knowing this experience will add significantly to my personal growth. It is always scary being on my own again, especially in a foreign country. But, I do know that I was meant to come here and that someone out there is watching over me. A scripture I came across again while reading through general conference was this:
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." -Joshua 1: 9
I love this scripture because for me personally it gives me the strength I need to get through the hard times. Religion has always been important for me because I never feel alone. It gives that quite, innermost strength that leads me to know the decisions in life that will make my best self and worthy of serving others. Coming to Romania has been one of those decisions. I get to experience the beauty of Romania and its rich culture while also working with special children. It is hard, but I know it will be worth it.
Cu mult drag,
Dani
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